From a mental health perspective, this isn’t a contradiction at all. It’s a permission slip. Many people come to therapy carrying the belief that they must choose one identity and stay there. Strong or soft. Independent or needy. Healing or broken. We’re taught—subtly and overtly—that certain emotional states cancel out others. If you’re struggling, you must not be coping well. If you’re capable, you must not need help. If you are grieving, joy is somehow inappropriate. These rigid either/or...

It’s funny because it’s true—and it lands because so many people navigating mental health challenges have heard some version of this advice delivered with total confidence and very little curiosity. Yoga, meditation, gratitude journals, deep breathing, bubble baths, going for a walk—these suggestions aren’t inherently bad. In fact, many of them can  be helpful tools. The problem isn’t the suggestion itself; it’s the way these ideas are often offered as universal solutions to complex, deeply...

”You’re allowed to be tired.” Kevin Clevenger (IG/Tiktok: @ironsanctuary) makes the connection between performance (doing) and worth. This isn’t a new thing - performance-based worth - but it is vital to revisit this toxic belief system fairly often.  What happens when you sit down for a minute? Almost inevitably someone shows up and says something like, “What’cha doin?” Or, “Since you’re not doing anything, you can help me with this (or do this, or finish this, or…).” Sometimes, we don’t...