I must stop wishing my life away. It is killing my present Joy.
So here I am going through a recovery program and bam, hit in the face immediately by the wish dragon, his actual name is NotEnough... because that is what a wish is. I wish for more sun, I wish for a better job, I wish for a thinner body, I wish, I wish, I wish.
In reality I am saying that what is present is not enough to satisfy me or give me what I think I want. Wishes are based solely in non reality. We can wish all we want but it doesn't change the work that has to happen in order to make the "wish' come true. That's also the thing about wishes, they imply that there is something out there that will just give us what we want because we want it.
I have for many years lived with my own wish dragon. He is not a good wish dragon, he is terrible, not one wish has he granted and yet I still go to him fervently asking and wishing away almost daily.
NotEnough sits on my shoulder and whispers, "don't you wish.... wish for more time, wish for another day to happen", always wishing my time away instead of utilizing it for my dreams. The wish dragon is the stealer of dreams, a thief in the night taking any hope of tomorrow being better as I will just wish to be elsewhere. He is the worst ever, and yet I hold on to him thinking that this time will work, this time I'll magically get what I want.
So now that I am aware that I am holding onto and feeding this dang dragon, what to do?
How do I silence NotEnough? how do I listen to the real voice that will get me what I want and will encourage me to be here and now and living in todays Joy?
Wish Dragons are the kings and queens of avoidance, by wishing for something I am not sitting in the now with whatever it is I am wishing away or for.
I must ask, what am I avoiding? What is it that I don't want to do today? What truth is sitting there waiting for me to realize and grow from? I am going to start feeding my Truth Dragon, BetterWay, as she is always calm and to the point. Telling me how it really is.
I must now learn to listen to her and feed her one stupid wish at a time. I no longer serve NotEnough and will begin to serve BetterWay, which in turn keeps me in Joy and the Now. I will grow one day, one minute at a time. BetterWay has never led me astray and has often led me to moments of the purest Joy that I am wondering why I have fed NotEnough for so long.
Our dragons that we carry differ from one to another, however these two are enemies from the start and I feel a lot of us struggle with or are totally unaware of which dragon we are feeding.
While BetterWay speaks truth that sometimes hurts, it is however always better to have honesty than wishes. Wishes do not go anywhere but into our negative thinking tank, which in turn leads to wrong or hurtful actions towards ourselves. There are solutions when the truth is revealed, wishes only create more wishes. BetterWay sometimes offers good and better choices, it's not always a good or bad thing to decide, but she still holds truth no matter what. Where as a wish is well.... wishy washy and has no substance other than the weight we give it.
Which do I want more? The Truth.
In the words of Brittany, "hit me baby one more time" is going to be my new truth motto. It is time to kill the Wish Dragon. NotEnough is no longer serving me and my demented idea of what I think I want. I will feed BetterWay and ask her for solutions rather than wishes. I want to be here and now, to be present and to fight the good fight for my healthy life that I am growing into. They say take it one day at a time, I am going to take it one thought at a time and see how that goes for now.
How will I allow Truth to prevail? One wish struck down, and one thought changed at a time. What am I avoiding? What don't I want to hear today? What will keep me present and not wishing? What is the solution? What small thing can I live in truth about today? I am not sure, but I'm giving it the good ole college try first.
I'll let you know how the battle goes!
Until next time my beautiful people, slay those wish dragons!