Going to Therapy: How to Break the News to Loved Ones

A big part of me feels like it should be criminal to have to treat the announcement of going to therapy as though it’s a confession.

I have a visceral reaction to mindsets that stigmatize mental health support, so maybe I’ll need to do more digging on why I’m getting angry just writing this post. Nevertheless, millions of people worldwide feel discriminated against when trying to ask for, or open up about getting psychological help, while millions of others lack the funds to access therapy even if their communities are tolerant towards the principle of it. 

The latest World Health Organization report on psychological illnesses cited around 1.1 billion people worldwide living with a mental health disorder (though I find these numbers questionable), the majority of which lack access to treatment due to either financial restrictions or the absence of professional care in their geographic location. When compounded with the fear of being shamed for seeking help, hindrances to treating trauma and emotional pain still outweigh the level of progress made in modern day attempts at normalizing mental health counseling. 

Leading factors behind the stigmatization of therapy include societal focus on keeping up appearances, with cultural factors informing negative perceptions of therapy as a confirmation of defects or flaws which dishonor the individual seeking help and their family. A generalized fear of being judged seems to emerge from an overarching aversion to vulnerability, with image control largely being internalized as far more imperative than truth with self. 

Perceiving vulnerability as weakness can be attributed to years of systemic conditioning from a plethora of sources which comprise and protect groupthink. Since human beings are hardwired for connection, risking exclusion from a group to heal internal discomfort often doesn’t seem quite cost effective. The tricky part is when people realize that genuine connection cannot exist without vulnerability - either with self or others. That’s usually around the time when unresolved trauma either mushrooms into an externally apparent mental disorder or physiological illness, exposing the unavoidable need for therapy, or when the person suffering with suppressed pain can no longer withstand the internal pressure. It’s also usually around the time when those in relationship with the individual who’s suffering with their mental health can see the mask slipping. 

So how does one break the news? I’m inclined to say, just tell them. In the same way a patient of heart disease tells their family they need to go to a cardiologist, a patient of psychological pain can let their family know they need help. Let the chips fall where they may. Every family needs a cycle-breaker, and even if it causes temporary discomfort, one person’s healing can usher a wave of emotional maturity in others close to them over time. At the very least, being honest with oneself out loud with others removes a large portion of the burden. You’ll only know when you try it. 

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Noora Kassem is passionate about mental health & wellness (writer's profile)